Untitled Journal

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Category: Event

Thirty

February is ending soon. Well like, today. And I could not possibly let it end this year without writing about turning another year older as I do every time.

From the 4th of this month on, I’m in my 30-s. Every year of my previous birthdays, I apathetically would say things like age is just a number, or “Hey, I just turned 18 again..” or something else that implied the same meaning. As if getting old is a bad thing or so undesirable to the point that I had to deny that I’m actually older.¬†Well, I am 30 years old. I’m going to take pride at being older. And this not denial talking, this is a woman who has passed all her silly insecurities, immaturity and bitter-ish phase. Well, hopefully!

You know, just few weeks before my birthday, I thought I wanted a big celebration. Fancy place, huge cake, balloons and the whole shebang. How freakin’ shallow was I, right? Until I finally realized that no, turning 30 isn’t just about me. As much as my family and friends wanted to celebrate me, I wanted to celebrate them too. People like my parents who gave me life and life alone is what I owe to them. People like my family who unconditionally love me no matter what kind of crap person I could be. People like my friends who literally make my life awesome as it is.

And of course, when you’re this old (man I hope I don’t sound like some 70 year old), what is there to celebrate? It’s time to reflect instead, whether I have served or devoted thoroughly as I supposed to be to my Creator? Reflect whether have I done my duty as a child to my parents, as the older I become the more deeds they’ve done for me? I’m sure I haven’t done both fully and on my 30th, I vouch to.

Hopefully from 30 onwards, I will do. And still, 3 balloons with an ugly cake I baked myself were totally necessary. Because that’s exactly how I spent my 30th birthday – by letting someone else who apparently more excited about me turning 30 blow the candles.

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Twenty-twelve

Happy new year everyone – 6 days a bit late.

Work has been manic since the 3rd. Everybody kept asking the things that were apparently requested by them last year. And by ‘last year’ they mean the last week of December ’11. *Slaps forehead*. Therefore there is nothing I want to write more but emails and letters to my consultants asking them to get off my butt. My JLo butt. No, Beyonce butt. Wait, JLo lah.

And as per 2011, here’s a shout out to all of you. To those who visited, commented, linked, searched, referred and followed this blog last year – I thank you.

Where I was New Year Eve. Picture borrowed from TendToTravel

Salam Aidiladha


Hope you all had a great one, as much as I obviously did.

The Day That She

Although she is one of my three best in life, I quarrel, disagree and argue most with Shareena. But at the same time, she is also the one I feel most comfortable with to open up to, revealing my insecurities in life, my unnecessary worries and the irrational troubles I often went seeking myself.

I said to Mus, who was also a birthday girl on the same day, it was only last year when the four of us went to find baju raya at Jalan TAR together. We then went and had our iftar afterwards and we talked about her unrest worries about being single, at the age of 28 and her urge to start a married life with at that time, no one in mind. Its amazing what has changed in just a year. She is married now, and it all feels surreal.

I feel so blessed to be around to see her achieve her dreams, and looking at her most beautiful too. I would be very sad if circumstances had been different for me, like if I was still in UK and had to miss her wedding. When I watched her walking down the aisle, taking her careful steps up to the decorated stage, holding close to her man and smiling ever so proudly to everyone, I reminisced the times when we were fifteen.

Years went in a blink when you truly enjoy each other’s company. At times like this I wonder if things are ever going to be the same again. And if it does, how long will it lasts? But for now I’m going to put my worries aside and pray that my friend will have a long and peaceful marriage, filled with love, laughter and joy as any marriage should be.

Daisy is Two

Daisy turned two today.

I always find it hard whenever I want or have to write something general about Daisy. I can do specific things, but sometimes it seems like all words invented in this world will not do proper justice to description of the magnitude of my love for her. Its indescribable in a way that I’m lost for words. That you’ll just have to dig in my heart, swim into my soul to know. I could write many things about her, the funniest thing she’d do, the smartest thing she’d say, the cutest thing she’d be… but I guess I’m just not that kind of mother. Although I assure you I have an infinity list of things I can be proud of my daughter. But like any God’s gift and blessing in life, I feel a lot more comfortable being humbled by it rather than parading my pride.

If I were to say it once yet again how truly blessed I am, you might not be returning to read me again. So let’s just say I am thankful it has been two great, fantastic year with Daisy in my life. I am grateful for the things she does that makes me laugh everyday, the things she makes me realize and the things she makes me who I am.

Mam loves you is an understatement, Daisy.

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