We were driving to Putrajaya today when the song came in. We were heading for the walls to climb like we usually do on weekend recently. It was just one of the songs that I’m not so crazy about, but because its catchy, I could sing from start to the end. It was Chris Brown’s With You.
Suddenly there’s this memory of us in UK, precisely of me, Fakhrul and Ayree. I said to Fakhrul, “Do you remember that time in our kitchen, in Headington? Ayree and I were singing to this while I was cooking and he was doing the dishes? The song just came out that time and Ayree was singing like his girlfriend was the water tap he was facing..” It was just one of those moments you know, mundane moment which at that time seemed nothing but years afterwards became something great to remember.
That was life in UK. You had these few people you share your life with and they were your family. There were always something to do when they’re around, whether you’re just killing time playing Uno or just plain chatting. And there’s always something to talk about, either missing the food in Malaysia or what to do on Easter break. You could meet everyday and there’ll be no moments of awkwardness, just companies you enjoy and comfortable in.
And then you’re back in Malaysia. And so do they, and it’s really stupid because it feels really hard to keep in touch. But when you do, oh my God – what else there is to ask but how’s life treating them? Maybe its just me or maybe we all went on with our lives. Maybe our environment changed and so did we. The special few still stick around and there were times when we met and things are exactly the same – that we could go on talking to each other for hours. Whatever it is, I struggle to understand which is better. The life that was just about you or life that is now about you and everyone else.
I don’t know. Maybe I just miss my UK friends. Or maybe I miss the life without all the kenduri to attend to, or other cultural obligations that sometimes feel forced on me. The life where I had absolutely have no idea what to do on weekend. Because I either were saving up for the winter electric bills or no one else were free to go with me. There’s something peaceful about being on your own in cold, grey outside you didn’t want to be in. But not for long until the loneliness kicks in.
And then you want to be home, like I want to be here. Here where I’m too busy living my real life that there’s only few minutes left for this virtual one. Apologies for the absence everyone, I swear I almost forgot I have blog.