Ending the Stressing

by shz

Over this past month I probably just had the hardest time at work. I swear I’ve tried to write about something else than this, but it is all I have in my head right now. As you probably have known from my previous ranting post, things were happening all at the same time that made me have occasional resentment for being an heir to a company. In the past as a paid worker, a normal employee without any remotely important positions in the company, I had less to think about. I got a job, execute the best I could, get paid, settled my bills and the rotation started again.

Its funny sometimes when I think about it. Architecture is one of the most expensive course to study, a difficult one to pass (I doubt I’ll make it professional before the age of 40), yet, it feels like one of the most underpaid profession ever! A lot of my colleagues share the same feeling. Its almost like our profession is like a struggling artists, who will die along with our misunderstood ideas.

I have a great deal of respect to my parents for doing this for the last 20 years or so. I can’t believe this is where I got my money from. Remembering what a snob, ungrateful brat I was, insisting some shopping allowance every month when I was in high school, or expected them to understand so they could give me more whenever I had somewhere to go was such a disappointing thought. I wish I understood this earlier. I heard all the preach about how hard it is to get money but never really understood the true meaning of it until I’m in the business of money-making and family-feeding myself.

It’s a naive thought to think that once you’re on top, your job gets easier. It’s totally the opposite. I have four people under me, with five people under them. Trying to figure out the next task for them to do alone will take almost half of my day. Not mentioning checking what they’ve done and since I don’t necessarily know everything on top of my head, I have to double-check with the others who know better. Then there’s this client who needs five options for their new facade proposal to design, then there’s this meeting, there are maths to do in the claim and accounts, those damn bloody contractors pressing me to issue their certificates, people to interview, my dad who kept asking if I had filled up the Part 3 log book, my mother who kept asking if I had updated the website and the CV. Oui, don’t they know I also have a blog to write? Geez, gimme a minute!

I get a bit overwhelmed with my job from being a nobody who sits quietly at her desk, to this person everybody refer to. It’s hard to convince my mind that this is a rewarding thing to do under such stress as this. I had forgotten what it was like to be one of the staff, who just come in time, do what’s told and get paid on time.

*Major sigh*

PS: By the way, I’m getting my unpaid salaries plus this month salary all in one shot. That’s 3 months pay, baybeee! And we had just been officially appointed by the Ministry of Education to design a boarding school in Pontian, project worth RM38mil. Alhamdulillah. Its not a exactly a big project, but we are not a big office either. And you know what it means, the government is pretty punctual with the claims. May the late salaries I’d been aching from will be the last. See, there’s a happy ending to all sufferings.