Tomorrow is Monday. And I will feel the guilt all over again. The agony of leaving my baby behind, see her wave me bye and I’ll have to endure 10 minutes of feeling like crap on the journey to work.
I know my home is like just 2 seconds away, and having all the flexibility I can just go back and spend an hour or so with her. But the reality is that it rarely happens because works are just piling up like nobody is taking a chill pill anymore. There’s always someone with a bungalow to build, a society that needs a shopping mall and thousands of sick person needing a hospital.
Every weekday Daisy is left with her err.. maid/nanny/Imah. Imah is a young woman in her early 20s who happened to get her job by accident. She just quit her previous job and was staying temporarily with Kak Nira, my old maid/nanny, looking for new job. I was almost done with my confinement and my supposedly maid/nanny was delayed from.. wherever she was from. I had doubt about Imah being young and quitting her last job so suddenly when my mother in law who at that time was around during my confinement told me that she was good. She can cook, cleans very well and hardworking. So I accepted Kak Nira’s plea to take her, and oh man is she good.
She irons all my clothes, including my panties and I think if she can iron my bra she really would. Everytime I asked her to bring my clothes it will come to me hot and clean. I felt really bad cos I really didn’t need her to do that much of ironing and I usually do my own underwear. I noticed that whenever she feeds Daisy she will always make sure that the baby is laying with the right posture. I mean, even I don’t do that. She even knows what needs to be done without me telling her, like wash the bottles with hot water, reduce the milk if Daisy’s dump looks thicker than usual, make healthy food for her.. things like that. In short, it’s probably not too much to say that she’s the best maid that I ever had. And this is coming from me who has been living with many maids since I could ever remember. Yes, better than Kak Nira. Well not really if you’re talking about iced Milo. Imah’s sucks. Wow, a flaw!
It’s harder for me because for some reason everytime I leave Daisy I feel like I’m leaving her to a better person. A better person in taking care of her, giving her attention and tend to her whenever she’s whiny. Cos God knows there are million of things in my mind. And sometime whenever Daisy was saying “Ma..Ma Ma” I thought maybe she was calling I-Mah instead of Ma-ma. Everytime I handed her to Imah she gets excited and waving her arms like a bird going to fly. Some days after work she wouldn’t even want me to pick her up from Imah the first time I ask of her, but eventually she’s excited to see me back. Imah is very fond of her as well, some dinner times when Daisy was being difficult on the table but I still want her around, Imah would just pick her up even I didn’t ask her to. Yes, I would still like my dinner uninterrupted but I prefer more to have Daisy dines together with us.
I don’t know, maybe this is what you get for being a working woman. You can’t get the best of both worlds although you try to get it all the time. But Fakhrul kept telling me that Daisy wants Imah like she wants a friend to play and she wants me like she wants her mummy. Which is really comforting to know because sometimes I can see the difference too. She always chooses me over Fakhrul and she gets worried whenever she thinks I disappear. On the bed, she would check if I’m still around by tapping her hand to the right.
Well I’m so glad it’s going so well for all of us. But I still wish I can wash away the guilt every Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.