Vida
by shz
We had a good life in UK. I got that and I think everybody did. But frankly, I don’t think I ever had a bad life. Even at my lowest standard or at the worst I could be, life was always good. The saying life is what you make it lives up to its meaning, it cannot be any true than that.
I have left it behind, I moved on and I’m happy here. But it doesn’t help if someone kept bringing up the past and how convenient it was to live in a developed country instead of here. Truly, I am so fed up of people always pointing out what’s wrong with our people, our culture and our ways. I mean, yes in some acceptable cases and experience by all means, do let it out. But don’t mock one of your own. Sure, some Malaysians behave like pigs on the road and they don’t appreciate art, they’re not critical enough and all that. I’m sure the British were once like that. All uncivilized and left wondering in the dark, trying to find their identities. And please don’t even start on why our buildings are so hideous and why can’t we have a proper pedestrian. Do you realize that those countries were built hundreds of years ago on backs of slaves which what made them rich?
I may got a little facts wrong here and there but what was that good life then? My last 2 years there were spent busting my butt off, working like they do, be punctual and critical and all the good ethics, trying to fit in. It was so exhausting at one point that I decided to change work place, only to learn that my new work place was just about the same. Happiness was defined by more income and more affordable things. Success was measured by all that is materialistic, for some reason I cannot understand. Months went off without realizing because I was just so focused with work and once in a while I get to pause and had enough money to travel and see places. It seemed like a good life which at that point and still now I can say, it seemed like a good life. But I never said, I was actually very lonely.
We should meet up sometimes, they said. We met once, twice and if lucky, three times in a year. All the real good friends I made during university times left, eventually. Everybody else that stayed works and chasing stuffs too.. so imagine the unavailability. The laughs and all that were rare, except during the university years. I couldn’t be bothered to make new friends since I’m the kind of person that you either love or hate, which usually people hate, so I didn’t want to add up more haters. I usually came home from work tired and hungry. Some nights I cried with an empty stomach because couldn’t bring myself to kitchen anymore and it was just too expensive to eat out, which even if I did meals with meat were only limited to all those kebabs or briyani. Otherwise I would have to unwillingly turn into a vegetarian. If I didn’t think about work, I thought about housework, which was more works. So, that good life I had in UK was practically in short, just works. Only self-centered, selfish career led women loves works so actually, it was kind of sucks.
I’m surprised that I find happiness here by just getting to eat lasagna for what it is – with beef. I’m surprised that I didn’t need much to find that joy. I didn’t need a plane ticket to some European country to make me all excited. I was excited just picking up the phone telling my friends I’m meeting them for dinner. I get to do so much over here it made me realize how little I did over there back when.
Maybe UK wasn’t a bad life. It was a good life. I just have a better life here. Now I just have to convince someone that.
Yep, I agree with you. The joy of not to become a vegetarian when you’re clearly not one, and friends are families are only a phone call away. Good life!
‘Months went off without realizing because I was just so focused with work and once in a while I get to pause and had enough money to travel and see places.
All the real good friends I made during university times left, eventually.’
That is exactly what I experience now except that my friends are one hour apart (but still i met them once a year) and I live in the same roof with my mother but end up my 200KM away sister know more about my mom compared to me. I met my baby sister once a week despite we share a room.
Oh GOD sedihnya! 😦
I’m sorry, didn’t mean to make you feel bad! I’m sure if you leave UK like I did, there’ll be other things you will miss as well. Think about those things! 😉
Partly I do feel the same way as you do and partly also I agree with you. I’ve spend my undergraduates back home and I know the system well. Now I’m living in the UK with a family and work. At some point I thought UK is a version of a very very very very improved Malaysia. And I’ve realized there is so much our country need to improve especially on mentality not the technology. Saying that I do believe we should minimized the time needed to get to a developed country. Because we simply have an easy way by learning from the UK. They needed hundreds of years to developed because they simply didn’t have a guidance. But we do don’t we?. I believe we can be a developed country faster than hundreds and hundreds of years. But now it’s a matter of whether we’ve analized what we’ve learn by what we’ve experienced or just being here in the developed country and waste our time.
You’ll be amazed on how Malaysia has progressed for the last 5 years. I think we’re getting there, the amount of people with the mentality that we hoped people would have has increased. Its quite easy to find, know or bump into people who were educated overseas so its actually not so hard trying to fit in. When you meet those who weren’t and they get opinionated in different way, you just smile politely and understand where they came from. There’s nothing you can’t find in here. But there are lots of things to consider before we look up to UK as precedence of developed country. I’m sure you realized by now how much the weather matters to the British, and I think a lot of things made British who they are, in sense of mentality, productivity and ethics were reaction to weather.
Its hot, humid and we always get flooded here. I wonder if British will ever be the same if they have to live in this kind of environment. This is often why some Malaysians can’t dress up, why we get so lazy by afternoon and couldn’t be bothered enough to have a little patience anywhere, especially on the road. I think the best example we can take from is actually, Singapore. But then it is actually very small to manage, so it might’ve been easier for them. Anyway, that’s just my theory. I welcome anyone who begs to differ.
Couldn’t agree more with you.. All you said were true..Had been living in the UK for almost 6 years, and now I live in the rural area of Malaysia and I am loving it!! I’ve been to Singapore as well, and well what I can say is, pity the people who live there.. No space, no land and everything is man made… errggghhh… where’s the nature??? people there are also ‘robotic-kind-of-way’ but still if they come to malaysia, they make mess just like malaysian (in terms of driving, throwing rubbish, toilet-using and eating chewing gum.. hehehe)..
Same goes to the UK.. I don’t think all the people who live there are well developed. I lived near a so called low standard, poor type of Briton and mixed with people who came from eastern european countries and what I can say is, it sucked! and it was really bad! Crimes everywhere and everyday there were broken houses cases and people being stabbed and all those kind of creepy-crimes… because of the high living cost, that was the only affordable place to live since I have family with children to take care of (tu pon with scholarship and husband worked)..
so it’s kinda positives and negatives that makes living in all those countries balance… but as a proud and truly malaysian… of course living in Malaysia is the best!!
yes I can see the sense in you. Weather is a big factor to the contribution of our attitute here. Outdoor especially.
Malaysia is the best because we grew there and we were mold into that culture..So it’s very comforting. I believe it would be different if we grew up here in the UK. We’ll feel the same way here like we felt with Malaysia. And especially we can get everything and anything back home because again it’s our comfort zone. We don’t need to worry about speed trap because we just need to pay for the summont. And need not to worry about where to put our babies if we wanted to go out dating with our husbands and etc
But a few small things that sometimes can make me glad staying here.Like how the toilets are clean and not wet. How drivers drive properly and doesn’t honk to the mistakers. How they are no ants or mosquitos to bite our baby. Like how customers right are very well embeded into the systems. how there is never a lost through the postage system.and how email r replied and phone r picked up. Those small things that sometimes can make a bad day in msia. But god I hate the teenagers here. All the stabbings and how I’m anxious everytime I’m driving because I don’t want to be caught speeding. And how tiring to really take care of our image because we r foreigner.
I sure hope you are right about malaysia getting there. Because it would be a bless. Truly for us. And for that I can’t wait to come home for good.
Hana, you’re so right.
The other day I was shopping at Giant Supermarket. I was so surprised that the price I paid was so much more than what they advertised. All the promotions became normal price at the till. The next time I came I took one of the price tag along, for one of the things that was cheaper than usual. It said RM6.00++, but when scanned it came up as RM12++. Imagine my shock of the price hike and without waiting another minute, I showed them the tag I took out.
I told the cashier I wanted to see her supervisor. The supervisor had to give me the discount, after much babbling from me. He then said, ” Ala kak, mana nak dapat semua perfect” and I was like “Eh, sedap je awak cakap macam tu ye. Ini baru satu barang, baru satu customer. Customer beli barang kadang2 yg tak masuk dalam list pun sebab ada promotion. Mana boleh main2, ini duit orang. Your price memang kena perfect!”
I held up a long que and told to the person next in line, “Pakcik baik-baik sikit shopping kat Giant ni. Harga letak murah, nak bayar mahal!” My gosh. If that was Tesco in Oxford, they would’ve just refunded all the wrong priced items and let me had it all for free! The consumer power in UK is undeniably strong, one of the things I really miss when I get back here.
I can’t promise your emails will be answered here, but so far I’m impressed that all my calls were picked up and answered promptly. The other day my new printer was broken and the technician came right away on the same day. And whenever I lost internet connection at home, there’ll be someone to fix thing the next day. There was once my water got cut off the whole day and I decided to call SYABAS by Maghrib, there were people answered to explain there was a broken pipe that they just fixed and I should got my water in an hour’s time. Also when there was no electricity, if I called I didn’t have to wait that long to get it back. So yea, telephone wise, so far so good.
There are the goods and the bads.. but I guess you stress less here with all the bad things going on because there will always be good people around you to make it all better. But yea, enjoy UK while you’re still there, cos it will never be the same when you get back. 😉
hi shaliza, do u tweet? i love to read your writings. how can i find u on twitter?
Hi Munirah.
Geez, sorry dear. I guess I’m not that up to date with a twitter account! I don’t have one, sadly.
Salute that post is nicely written are you a trained author ? Maybe i can pay you to write for my site?