Some Wednesday Night

by shz

Today was one of the rare days that I took too many caffeine and have trouble sleeping. So here I am. I’ve visited Mr. WC three times in 1.5 hours, brushed my teeth, made love to my husband and still wide awake. Wait a minute. Is it totally appropriate to even say something like the last part? Oh well. At some point you would’ve figured out how I got knocked up anyway. Just bear with me, I’m having one of those indecency moments.

So every other day that I read comments fed to my email, I’d feel horribly guilty for not saying something back. Thank you, well wishers. Lately I feel like all my creative pursuits are draining out of me. What should I write about? At some point any one of you must’ve heard something about being pregnant. I have too much time now to watch my bump grows and its like I cannot do anything else without being done with it first. Really, there’s nothing much to say about it as I would’ve expected. The exhaustion period is over and apart from that, I don’t feel much different except that I fart more frequently than usual and find it hard not to make a sound. Talk about a magical time…

My mind constantly thinking about my last days in UK though. Yeap, we’ve decided to go home. Soon, if that’s what you’re wondering. I have no hesitations about it, but the things that I’m going to miss keep lingering in my mind. I surely gonna miss knowing what I can get for under a tener. Or under a hundred or a thousand for that matter. I will miss having 28 days refund policy. Watching the 7 o’clock news with real input. Spring. The public toilets. The professionalism of people you work with. The big deal of art. Paninis and hot chocolate. The buildings, especially Oxford buildings. The drive on the countryside. Tap water. My gosh, this will be a never ending list.

Certainly I’ve been spoiled with all of this developed country’s life luxury that I fear I’ll start becoming a complainer. But truthfully, it’s getting lonelier over here. All of our friends are either living somewhere else or enjoying nasi lemak as breakfast in Malaysia and my brother moved to Reading that every single time I see Adam again, I feel like he’s a different person. They used to live across my flat and I could just pick him up from my window, but now I don’t even know he can say “Whatever..” whenever he dislikes something. Its like children are not taking their own sweet time to grow up anymore.

At one point work feels like all about who’s making more money and who can afford more things that I’ve forgotten the reason I pursued it at the first place. Corporatism really screwed it up. The harder I work the more world reveals itself as being materialistic and greedy. Life is pretty uninspiring. It has become really mundane and comfortable again. It’s freakin’ boring. I hope soon will be a change. I want to move on and not stuck in this wheel of nothingness.

Gosh, what a pointless entry. I’m too pregnant to be bitter, so I shall not. Something great will happen and soon I’ll be sitting on clouds again. Let’s see.