Nine Months
by shz
So where do I start? How should I deliver this news publicly? Oh screw it.
I’m knocked up. Yes. I’m just over 3 months pregnant and before the end of this year, there will be a little person sleeping in between me and Fakhrul. I’m sure some could’ve guessed when I wrote this, but it was too early then, I didn’t want to jinx it.
I’m not going to be all fake about it, I admit, I was confused and shocked, although all my life I know this would happen one day. The only little happiness I found was knowing that we can conceive naturally. Having to say this, I understand now that I am not instantly maternal and for awhile I was quite somber about it. I was so scared of all the labour stories I’ve heard, but mostly I kept thinking about things I’ll have to let go.
Come on, you know me. You’ve been reading and seeing me for like what, few years now? Do I look like someone who sits gracefully and knit, wearing jeans with stretch waistband? Its so stupid saying things like this like some ungrateful brat, but that was what I felt then.
I was worried I was going to lose what I have now, losing control. Especially losing my youth. My times taking off from home and head for another world to see, my times to climb a career ladder to get to the top, times jumping on a car with friends and sang our favourite songs out loud without a care in a world and instead, having to settle for the pink or blue of a baby? Life as I know it, has ended.
And then I went home. Saw my family, talked to my friends and met everyone I had to. I listened to stories about how impossible this is to some people and how much this will complete me as a person and more importantly, as a woman. And then I understood the happiness. I can play out how unprepare I am for it all I want, but along the way, I must’ve secretly wanted it. Otherwise I would’ve protected myself.
And my youth? I am especially not losing my youth. My youth is growing inside me, moving about when I cough, stretching legs when I sneeze, looking like a bean. My youth is in here, doing well. And it will be great.
I sensed that when you posted your entry Blue.Congratulations, for no other words I can say except a warm feeling for a mother-to-be I have known for the past few years, virtually.You should feel glad that you went loony thinking about everything that you’re going to lose. How you’re going to leave such a life, so fun no other person interfere with everything you do. It’s normal, dear.Worry not, a minute right after you deliver that cute lil baby, you’ll be a mother, that’ll literally kill anyone who’s going to hurt your offspring.Congratulations again.
Congrats Shaliza!
Congratulations Shaliza..You take care OK…:-)
Congratulations to you and Fakhrul… this baby is a blessing from Allah and i am so happy for you š
Alhamdulillah..Congrats Shaliza!!
Alhamdulilah.Congratulations! š
WOW…congrats shz..happy with this big news..u’ll do well…insyaAllah…take care… š
congrats shz!!
I knew it! i knew it!remember my comment?"the good news?another best thing in life?owh.. pls say it! "Oh my god shz, i feel like jumping..i don’t know but.. im soooo happy for you.it’ll be another phase.. and trust me, you’ll love it.just cant wait.
congrats shaliza!insyaAllah u will be a great mother š
Selamat…Ya…saya mendoakan yang selamat untuk kamu..moga selamat semua nya.Saya tak berpeluang meraikan kegembiraan sebegini. melihat insan lain dikurnia bahagia…juga suatu yang sudah indah buat saya.Percaya lah..kegembiraan dr "si kecil" itu sentiasa diiring keindahan seterusnya… dilimpahi kasih sayang dan perhatian tak berbanding dari suami tersayang…dimanjai ibu tatkala berpantang…percaya lah…tak semua orang bertuah merasai nya.Jadi..buang kegusaran itu…bergembiralah.
congrats to both of u š
Wow!! Congrats to both of you. Take care ya. xoxo
salam sara n fakhrulits me nuown, ur former classmate at brahim school..congratulations 4 both of u!!!!I still wait for the moment that doc will say .."u’re pregnant!!!"tk cr sara!!!!
congrats…
aaaah…congratz !!!~
OMG!!!! yr feelings then is something i can relate to now! btw congrats! u’ll do fine! š
congrats shaliza š i pernah ada the same exact feeling when i first found out that i was preg. trust me, you’ll love the ‘new’ world š take a very good care of yourself and lil one in the tummy ya.. enjoy your pregnancy coz you’ll miss it later!
hey shaz,actually..i think ud make a great mom who wears jeans with waistband and knits and occasionally sips from the teacup. hehe!!enjoy ur motherhood and pregnancy. as a photographer, im sure u’ll take lotsa picture with ur youth blooming!!take care.
Congrats Kak. I’ve been following your blog since shz.blogspot.com lagi with that quote from the oasis song as your heading hehe. Am so happy for you. Must be exciting to wait until the little bundle of joy comes out.
Congrats Shaliza….This is really a happy news.Coincidently, I am in the same state as you are!Take care dear!
congrats!!! take care of yourself and the baby. the baby must be super duper cute like u!
wow! Tahniah!
shz,what take you so long to update?
congrats sis!entering a new phase in life is extremely challenging..but you’ll be doin just fine! š
Been meaning to drop you a comment since I read this entry but haven’t got the chance to do so. so shaliza, congrats!!